‘‘A CLICK, and then everything stopped’’.

Alex McKinnon, the 23-year-old former Newcastle Knights player, has described the moments following a sickening tackle last May in a match against the Melbourne Storm that left him as an incomplete quadriplegic, and the traumatic weeks in hospital that had him begging his parents to let him die. 

‘‘I didn’t want to be alive,’’ he said. 

‘‘I had that many thoughts going through my head, I just felt like it was unfair for me to be alive.’’

In a wide-ranging interview with NBN’s 60 Minutes, McKinnon spoke on everything from his relationship with fiancee Teigan Power, his anger at Melbourne Storm and Australian skipper Cameron Smith, and the harrowing moments after that tackle.

‘‘As a young kid [after training] I’d walk home from the football field to my house, through a golf course, and it’s just cold, silent, there’s no one there and it’s a winters night, it’s freezing cold, fresh air, but just silent. That’s what it felt like,’’ he told interviewer Liz Hayes.

Alex’s parents, Scott and Kate McKinnon, as well as his partner, Ms Power, all spoke during the interview, his mother recalling a harrowing moment in the hospital when she had to convince her son to find the will to live.

‘‘I said ... you can’t leave me, and he’s gone ‘you’ve got Dad, you’ll be right Mum, I just can’t do this, I can’t do this’, and I said, you can’t leave me darling, I may have your father but I need you, I said I can’t live without you, you’re my life,’’ she said.

Despite the hardship in the 15 months since the accident, the bright spot has been the engagement between McKinnon and partner Ms Power. He credited her with installing hope, staying by his side, and the pair are looking forward to a promising future, with the goal for McKinnon to one day walk his love down the aisle.

‘‘He said ‘I can’t get through this myself, I need you, I want you to be here with me for the rest of my life, and he just said, will you marry me?’,’’ Ms Power said. 

‘‘It was everything I wanted ... how can you go from loving someone, to them getting injured, and then saying I don’t love them anymore? That’s just ludicrous. Nothing’s changed. He’s still the same person, he can still talk to me, he can still tell me he loves me.’’

The interview has also prompted a response from the Melbourne Storm, after McKinnon described Storm captain Cameron Smith’s response on the field after the accident as ‘‘f ... ing ridiculous’’.

He believed comments Smith made at the time implied he was somewhat to blame for the injury.

‘‘If he doesn’t duck his head, that doesn’t happen,’’ Smith was heard telling referees.

McKinnon said he was still angry with Smith and said he had not heard from him since the incident.

But Melbourne on Sunday released a statement saying Smith had no idea of the extent of McKinnon’s injury when on the field and had attempted to contact the injured player several times afterwards.

‘‘Storm players led by captain Cameron Smith requested to visit Alex in hospital numerous times while he was in Melbourne,’’ the statement read.

‘‘The requests were declined, which was totally understandable given Alex needed to focus on the initial stages of his recovery.’’

Storm chief executive Dave Donaghy said he had spoken to the Australian skipper, and was certain he would want to reach out to McKinnon.

‘‘I’ve got no doubt that Cameron today would be feeling pretty ordinary,’’ Donaghy said.

‘‘I have no doubt that he would want to [try and contact McKinnon].

‘‘Hopefully Alex is willing to receive the phone call as well.’’

Source: Newcastle Herald